I Am the King of the Common Cold – and I'm Able to Tell You Tips for Staying Healthy

This time last year, I found myself filming a television show in the company of three performers. Included were a rapper of Ghanaian heritage, a major pop celebrity, and a famous mezzo-soprano. The coldest season was upon us. Just the night prior, I’d been at an old friend’s 60th birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space somewhere in Surrey. It had been a good night, but now, simply to make conversation, I questioned how it was possible to avoid catching a cold with many partygoers were contributing to a chorus of sniffles and coughs. On a side note, what explains the trumpet-like nose blows, and others don’t? A question for another day.

The Response of the Trio

When I brought up my evening, the group of artists backstage at the TV studio did two things. To begin with, they edged away from me. Second, they engaged in a feverishly enthusiastic discussion regarding ways to stay cold-free and this naturally enough given their line of work was almost an obsession. I understand that, yet I'm personally involved – I need to dodge colds no matter what as my symptoms are harsher than most. I lack official documentation, but I know it to be true. My symptoms persist. I experience worse nasal blockage, I have a more irritated throat, my coughing fits are louder, barkier and apparently endless. Those at home, alert to the initial throat noises which herald the coming storm, either kick me out of the room or evacuate the area. During my time hosting football on TV, my teammates behind the scenes learned to recognize the signals. “Cans off!” the studio director would holler to the staff prior to me blasting their ears, blowing the wiring in their headphones.

Managing Nasal Congestion

As for my blocked noses, don't get me started. Sprays, drops, including the intense vapor from heated brandy my mother recommends … they all work for a while until they fail. Nothing is quite as sad as a Midlands dialect spoken without the benefit of air passing through the nostrils. That is, it can sound nasal even normally. On the plus side, it draws pity, though that's not necessarily beneficial. When I started college, separated from family care, the janitor in our dorm felt sorry for me. “I know exactly what you need, you dear. I'll return shortly.” She was extremely kind, with a strong Irish accent, and demanded I eat the uncooked, peeled onion she offered me in bed. She stood and watched me do so. Kind soul. No improvement resulted, sadly, except for upsetting my stomach and making my breath smell terrible.

The Mezzo-Soprano’s Prevention Strategy

So no, I despise catching colds and am quite sure that prevention is better than the cures which traditional or modern, don’t work. I listened intently together with the other artists while she explained her health practices. With seasonal gigs on the schedule, she was highly committed. She commanded us to use hand gel hourly all winter long as far as I could deduce and, specific measures were necessary when it came to parties and what not. Prior to socializing, she advised several sprays of a nasal spray into both nostrils – regardless of symptoms. Drastic. I appreciated it. Moreover, she required a repeat application after the party with another couple of squirts of the solution.

The Results

I adopted the method. And I have to say I snuffled not once all last winter. There were drawbacks: the many containers I acquired, mislaid, bought again, rediscovered, and more. And that dispiriting moment when you discover you've crushed the hand sanitizer kept in your jeans and it's oozing out. Still, all a price worth paying. And now winter’s upon us again, I'm fully prepared with her prevention arsenal. I'm prepared to combat.